Why Love isn’t a Magical Answer to Things

 

 

If you find this post, you are probably wondering why a blogger that has romance in  its blog name would be writing this post questioning things.  However I’m not just a romance reader, I’m an eclectic reader, I read what I’m in the mood for, whether it be YA, romance or  fiction. My shelves reflect  this and I’m proud to an eclectic reader thanks to my upbringing.

I’m the first to admit that I love a bit of romance in a book, but I’m more  then eager these days to read a  mystery fiction  to give my brain a little bit of a workout and read something different. Even though it has romance in it….

As it  has become accepted,  in order to be widely read by readers around the world.  I can’t remember the last book I read where there wasn’t a  hint of romance in the story.  Where the characters didn’t have a stray thought and stuck to their own problems and  people in their own world who may be helpful or part of the problem.  Instead of focusing on certain  people because they are interested in them romantically.

Things like instant love have become accepted even though people hate it, as who has time for the build up. That boys and girls can be friends and have no interest romantically,yeah nope . Believe me I tried it and it never ends that way. That a woman can’t see anything beyond the close friendship is a lie. Trust me she thought about it. Or a protagonist changing their identity and completely forgetting that they were interested in a different sex and pretending that they never felt that way at all. That because of love they become completely straight. I rather have them be their true selves  then in pain and suffering.  Yep long gone are the tales like Blyton and Holmes. Even children from a young are subjective to a peppered reality that love can solve things. That you need love in your life, and not necessary mom and dad. Love is painted to be like  magic. It can take away problems and find solutions. That once you have love things are invincible and unstoppable  .

It isn’t ….                                                .

Yes there is poetry license. But contemporary, historical or anything that deals with real issues. Should stick to the truth. Life isn’t pretty why should be fiction, as the things that accepted today thanks to certain books shock me. And the fact readers proclaims are even worse

This  why I’m writing this post. Too much has been said recently, to keep my mouth closed and let another day go by, that people build an idea that things like mental issues can be solved by love. I’m not making this up, its out there and it hurts.

Yes love can be a life changing thing but it can’t eradicate things. It only masks what is underneath.

When did it come alright to accept that?

As a reader I grew up my tastes changed and I didn’t pay attention.

However, a conversation with  Mollie the Reader made me take notice of a few things.  It’s making me question every single read I have read since I have had the conversation that falls into the categories.

Including  one of my recent reads , a diverse YA novel that is excellent but yet confusing

Whilst we celebrate diversity and how things have changed in the industry . We fail to notice the little things, things that only people who have experienced things would understand.

When did it become alright to ignore the fact that mental illness needs to be controlled by drugs. That love is the answer instead and there no need to mention the character takes pill to control their pain and struggles or to see a therapist.

When did it did become alright not to challenge things and rock the boat because love is solving problems .

When did it become alright for a character to have a miracle turn around because they found love and forget about what they are about, what they have gone through because of love being ‘the cure’.

When did it become for core values and beliefs to be changed as we fall in love because the person is everything against that even if it’s the wrong thing.

Love changes people and makes them do crazy things. However there should be consequences. Everything shouldn’t be painted with rosy tinted glasses.

I can’t be the only one who despite loving these books, see there are problems with these books and stay quiet. When there so much more to love and doesn’t have what many books painted it to be. It has layers and it can’t be never understand the same by everyone. There are many types of love and love being a magical answer isn’t one. Yes it magical but not in the sense it can solve problems and make things like mental illness go away in the blink of an eye.

As a person who  falls in love with fictional boyfriends and doesn’t always question things,  I’m ashamed.  Coming from a diverse background and having  dealt with mental illness.  I’m ashamed not to question things, especially things close to home. Depression and anxiety don’t have a quick fix. Especially not love  and not overnight.

Diverse reads have it’s place but it should come at a cost. This is 2017 and whilst strides have been made. Things need to be address and not swept under the counter.

BOOKS I FOUND WITH LOVE BEING THE CURE:

ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES BY JENNIFER NIVEN

THE ONE MEMORY OF FLORA BANKS

MY HEART AND OTHER BLACK HOLES

MADE YOU UP

A BOOK THAT I HAVE FOUND HAS NOT MADE LOVE THE CURE:

GIRL IN PIECES

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